Change

It has been said that we can start our day over at any moment; that today is the first day of the rest of our lives, and that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Each of these ideas point out that we have the freedom to choose again at any moment; that we can begin to make our selves anew whenever we choose. For those ideas I am grateful because they remind me that when things are not going as I would like, that I can choose again; I can find a different path; I can try a new way.

Mid summer is not usually a time associated with beginnings, but changing now is proof that we can start over at any moment, for any change is a beginning. A change is a start of a path that is different than the one we were originally on, no matter how trivial the difference may seem at first. Even if this different path supposedly takes you to the same place as the original path. Is it not the journey itself that matters most? Is it not what we experience along this new path the point of the change, not where we end up? This is why I believe different paths can never lead to the same place, because the person we are when we arrive is different; our perspective is different than it would be had we taken the original path. Since we are different, then the place we arrive is different.

The details of the change are also mostly irrelevant. Instead, it is the direction of the change that is paramount. Does this new path you have chosen, this beginning, serve you? Is it what you see as best for you at this moment? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, we may not know the answer to these questions at first, at the beginning. We may feel compelled by a vague force to alter our schedule, to try a new hobby, to simply do the things we always do but to do them in a different order or in a different way somehow. I urge you to follow that force, to heed that subtle suggestion, be courageous and follow the instinct into newness, even if it seems trivial at first.

I have spent most of my life trying to improve who I am. Seriously, most of my life, I have spent countless resources trying to be a better man, a better son, a better lover, a better whatever. I have had so many beginnings it seems like change has been the only constant in my life. I now see the truth in that. Life is change, and change is good no matter how it may seem at first. All of my attempts at being 'better' have not been failures, but preparation, learning experiences, I needed to be where I am right now, still changing. I have experienced that successful change comes in small increments, since such changes are easier to stay with, to accept and to maintain. In the past I have tried to be a different person overnight, to change everything at once. Those experiences were not failures even though the change I sought did not occur, because a much more subtle and lasting change did. The realization that small, incremental changes over a period of time are what lasts.

So I find myself making adjustments again, being who I am. I wish the same for you. May you go with the flow of things. Be not afraid of change; embrace it.

Cycling, Music, and a great weekend

This weekend was a blast for Karina, Sophie, and I. We went to dinner at Pops in Simpsonville, and loved the food (as always). Saturday we picked up a piano for Karina (a freebie from a friend). We are thrilled about that. We picked up birthday presents for Sophie and a Jogging Stroller. We also joined the Golden Strip YMCA this weekend, and signed up for swimming classes. We rode the Swamp Rabbit trail through Cleveland Park and Reedy River Falls Park on Saturday. That was a blast!!! Karina couldn't believe she was riding in traffic (after we left the trail) on Main St. in downtown with people and cars everywhere. We stumbled upon Go Tri Sports during our ride. The guys there are great.

I found a cool route from Greenville to Clemson I hope to check out soon. Here is the map from
MapMyRide.com:

Ebb of Flow

Earlier today a friend and I talked about the ebb and flow of spiritual energy. I noted that sometimes I feel so awake or aware, and other times, I seem to only accept the concepts intellectually. Today has thus far been a day of lowered spiritual energy, less focus, and less awareness. Thankfully, moment by moment, I can choose to surrender my will to the Higher Source, concentrate on gratitude, and open up. It surprises me each time. On days like today, the feeling of gratitude is the spark that ignites the Holy Fire within, if even for a moment.

So as my friend said, every one must embrace their own humanness and know that the energy flows are not always constant, the student is not always aware or awake, and that is OK. The peace is always there, but sometimes we simply do not see it; sometimes we choose to not be aware of it. Once we surrender again, and open our hearts to the pure eternal love of the universe, then again we find the peace wraps around us, and we remember that it never left us.

Emissary Wheel

  I started reading James Twymans book The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking and started to learn about the wondrous world of sacred geometry. The book is powerful, and already I can see it changing me. I started the famous A Course in Miracle and this book really is an easier to understand version of that classic text.

gOS and other random stuff

It has been quite a while since I posted. Many things have been going on. My latest project is testing out gOS. I just downloaded it and dropped the Live/Install CD in my Dell Latitude D810 Laptop. Booted up, put in my wireless WEP Key (I know WEP is weak, but it works for me), and now I am sitting comfortably in my bed blogging about gOS! Pretty sweet. It is Ubuntu based (which is Debian based) so I was partial to trying it out. gOS originally caught my attention because it runs Enlightenment E17 release, and it is perfect for bringing older hardware back to life. This has renewed my interest in building one of my old PCs as a Linux based media center and hooking it to my HDTV and Sony Surround system. Unfortunately the spare PC I have at home will not fix the task due to hardware limitations ( I would have to find another AGP video card because the one I have is PCI, and the onboard video doesn't have any way to connect to my TV). Alas, my better spare system is in use as a router at work (way overkill for what it is being used for) so I shall swap the two systems and use the one from work for the Linux based Media Center Project.

I know this post isn't really about finding stillness, but in the stillness we get reacquainted with things we love. I purchase some cheap sculpting clay two weeks ago, and tried my hand at that as well. The last few weeks have been exciting as I keep finding interesting projects to play with, but my time is pretty limited now, so I do not get as much time to spend on my pet projects as I would like.

That is all for today. Have a great weekend.

Blogging from the kitchen on a rainy Sunday

Well, this weekend in Greenville, SC has not been a good for being outside due to the wind and the rain. So, I decided to make some cookies instead! Not one to often follow directions, I had to modify a recipe I found online. I am calling it Tony's Quasi-Healthy Chocolate Delight Chocolate Chip Cookies. The butter used was Smart Choice 50/50 butter, I used half the sugar (white and brown) and unsweetened chocolate squares to complement the semi-sweetened chocolate chips. The first batch was standard chocolate chip cookies, and the remaining batches are the Chocolate Delight cookies. So far my wife likes the first batch, but is in love the Chocolate Delight cookies.

The oven timer just went off, so I need to check on the next batch. Photos to come...

Weekend review

I always enjoy the weekend, the extra time with the family, sleeping in, doing little things around the house, forgetting about work for a while. This weekend was no different, breakfast with the family, cleaning out the attic, watching movies on Sunday afternoon; it was a great and relaxing weekend.

From 7 months

Sometimes I think that my life hasn't measured up to what I believe it could have been by now; that I have somehow done less than what was possible, achieved less than I could have. It is the weekends spent hanging out with those I love the most, doing nothing extraordinary, that give me a glimpse of just how much I have, how much I am blessed, that maybe the metrics by which I measure my 'success' sometimes, are not the correct metrics. I am subtly reminded that it is that which resides within us, that which can not be measured, that is the real source of 'success' and that the rest of it is really an illusion.

Perfect Imperfection

Some days we are reminded of the imperfection of ourselves. There is perfection in our imperfection; that the combination of all of our imperfections creates perfect moments over and over again for us to discover who we really are. The existence of our imperfection leads us back to the center of humility, from only where we can see the truth. The duality of ourselves reflects that of the universe around us, as we are made in It's image. We are at once beautiful and repulsive, the Good Wolf and the Bad Wolf. Without darkness there would be no such thing as light, without pain there would be no such thing as joy.

Monday, Monday

This weekend was interesting. We purchased a bicycle seat for our daughter, Sophie, and attached it to my bike. Sophie got to take her first ride, and it was very exciting.

Personally, the weekend, like everyday had it's ups and downs. Fortunately through a working relationship with the God of my understanding, the ups were fantastic, and the downs were not nearly as bad as they could have been. The world hasn't changed, nor have my family and I been any more blessed than ever before. The difference is that the God of my understanding, or as I call her, my HP, has opened my heart and eyes, to see first the beauty in all things, and she has helped me put first understanding and acceptance, rather than my own selfish agenda. This does not mean that I don't still instinctively think first of my own selfishness, and how others are wronging me; however, now I ask for assistance from my HP, to help take me out of myself and see more of any given situation. I ask for help in understanding others, and accepting others as they are, where they are and for who they are. Greatfully, this acceptance is increasing with regards to others, but miraculously it is extending to myself as well. For both of those I am deeply grateful.

I hope you have a blessed day, and remember, Divine help, is only a prayer away.

Long day at work. Hope to be back with the baby and baby's mama soon. Just for today.

Going to Palm Beach...

Well, today my boss and I head to West Palm Beach, FL for a couple of days of work. I love visiting places, but miss my family while on the road. This weekend Karina, Sophie and I had a great time at the 29th USCANA Convention!! It was fun, and entertaining. We look forward to next year's convention.

This weekend both Karina and I were blessed with opportunities to practice patience and understanding. It's funny as time passes, and you continue to pursue, hole-heartedly, conscious contact with the God of your understanding, things you did not even realize were broken, become so obvious! I am glad life is a journey today, one that we can appreciate and love, one day at a time.

Peace and love to you for today. Namaste.

Saturday Morning Randomness

This morning my wife caught me and Sophie playing on our computers.

Karina and I found a great meal planning website by the USDA. You can find it at http://www.mypyramidtracker.gov/planner/ . I like it because it allows you to look at what you are currently eating and see how it stacks up compared to the 5 food groups, calories, empty calories, etc. It is a very useful website.

Out of our minds...

Having a daily relationship with a Power greater than myself is slowing changing me, and in return changing my life. For today, I hope to find the acceptance of myself and others that has often eluded me.

Hello World

The first program you write in any computer language you learn is usually something simple, like printing 'Hello World' to the screen. I thought since this is my first ever blog entry (I know, welcome to the 21st century), an appropriate title would be Hello World.

Today I am focused on acceptance, much like I was yesterday, and probably like I will be tomorrow. Acceptance of yourself, and others can sometimes be more difficult than it would first seem. I have found that only with the help of things beyond me, am I able to begin and continue this journey. I welcome your comments, and hope for your soon return. Maybe we can take this wonderful journey, one day at a time, together.

Have a great day.