Humility and surrender

This week has been rough for me. My perception has been negative and I have been irritable and generally displeased. Even when I recognize my irrational thoughts and acknowledge that I can choose a different experience at any time, I still find myself caught in a negative energy field and find that choosing differently can be quite difficult. Unfortunately I struggle asking for help. I believe that I understand the problem and that I can work through it on my own. In response to this I have been given an opportunity to practice two vital spiritual principles: humility and surrender.

I used to, and in moments of irrationality still do, believe that though other people's assistance may make life easier, ultimately it is not needed. Sometimes I mistakenly think I am completely self-reliant. It is this state of mind that causes me to isolate from other people, and inhibits my ability to form deep personal relationships. I have been taught that an effective response to this arrogance is to practice humility.

An act of humility is asking for help. It is asking for another human being to listen to my struggles and provide feedback. It is acknowledging that I need other human beings; that I can not go it alone. This simple act dissolves my illusion of self-reliance, if only for a time. We all long to be needed, and when someone sincerely asks us for help, we find deep satisfaction in being of service. So this act of humility becomes a reciprocal blessing. It allows me the healing process of practicing humility, and the other person the fulfilling experience of being of service to their fellow man.

In asking for help, I was reminded that my method of struggling to overcome the negative thoughts may not be the best approach. That trying to think my way to better thinking does not work. The more I tried to "work through" the negative thoughts and feelings, the more energy I was giving them. The adage of "surrender to win" is true. It was suggested that I stop fighting my imperfections, stop struggling to overcome my character defects. It was suggested that I surrender those feelings and thoughts to a Power greater than me, and ask for help from another human being. The answer was simply to acknowledge the unwanted thoughts and feelings, share them with someone and let them go. I was reminded that everything is temporary. Good feelings, bad feelings, pleasure and pain come and go and come again. The only constant is change. I need not fight these thoughts and feelings. It is as silly as fighting the rain. In hindsight, the negative thoughts and feelings are a blessing, for they actually provide the chance for me to practice often neglected principles of humility and surrender.

Maybe one day I can fully experience the perspective Shakespeare described in Hamlet when he penned "...for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Repost from Real Life Spirituality

This is a repost from:

http://reallifespirituality.com/spiritual-development-paradox/

Spiritual Development Paradox

August 4, 2010 by Akemi

(Photo credit)
This is going to be a very personal post. My spirit guides and teachers are accelerating the pace they communicate with me and, for little Akemi, it feels they are just dumping tons of info on me. I need to write to organize my understanding. Maybe someone among you who knows better can even help me somehow.

So I apologize if the post reads a bit messy. Some part of the post may sound redundant or contradictory. Just bear with me. Or, you can just move on to other posts that are written better.

What is spiritual development anyway?

The thing is this “spiritual development” or “growth”. As you know, I read people’s Akashic Records and clear the energetic blocks and interferences. It’s a spiritual work. And I’ve believed I need to continually work on my own spiritual development for my own good and to be a good Akashic Record reader.

I believe my clients and readers of this blog are also into spiritual development. We work on improving ourselves and our lives.

My spirit guides (SP): But the soul is already whole and complete. There is no room or need for improvement. That’s an oxymoron.

Me: Oh. Well… you are right. I know souls / Higher Selves come directly from the Source. But … you mean we don’t need to improve anything?

SP: You can train your body, you can train your mind because the mind belongs to the body. But no, you cannot train or improve your soul.

Me: But… what is all this spiritual evolution is about then? Aren’t we aiming to some high goals, like Ascension or Enlightenment?

SP: Okay, let’s go back a bit. You think you are less than perfect, and so you want to improve yourself, right?

Me: Yes.

My inner fears

As much as I write about the importance of accepting and loving ourselves as we are, with all the unique and quirky bits, there are still part of me that I am not 100% comfortable with.

For example, I gained a few pounds since last summer. I think I would look nicer if I lose these weights.

I also think I might want to work harder. My clients are waiting 4 to 5 weeks for their readings. My professionalism tells me to work harder to shorten the waiting list.

And the biggest frustration comes from this spiritual development itself. I read quite a lot of books on spirituality. There are so many good books. And as I read, I realize I am not measuring up well. Like, I haven’t done conscious astral projection. (I think we all do astral projection unconsciously.) I still have no idea about lightbody. (Damn, the linked article was written more than a year ago. What have I been doing since?) I am still concerned about petty daily things. My experience in the spiritual development is pretty limited. And so on.

I can read the Akashic Records and talk with my clients’ spirit guides, but that’s about all. Often, it feels I am just a conduit, a messenger in the spiritual world, with no real credit to myself.

I want to be brilliant so that I can help people realize their brilliance. Hopefully, I would do this simply by my existence. Instantly. I am far from being such a Light and this frustrates me a lot. In short, what the f-word am I doing here?

SP: So what do you think if I tell you you are already whole and complete?

Me: … that sounds like a big paradox. I sincerely work and work to improve my spirituality only to realize I am already whole and complete?

SP: Yes!

Me: … so… I don’t need to do anything?

Living in the Here and Now

SP: The only thing is you live in the hear and now. Completely. When you think you were thinner last summer, you are comparing yourself with the you of the past. When you think you would look nicer when you lose weight, you are comparing yourself with the future you and pressuring your current self. You are also believing you are less than desirable.

Me: ….

SP: Same thing with spiritual development or anything. You are comparing your current self with others, or the future potential you, or the past you. None of them matters to you — they don’t really exist.

Then there was a stream of visuals to help my understanding. We are like kids playing make-believe games. We are so into this game, for so long, that we have forgotten it’s just a game. We think this is reality.

Or it’s like living in a dream and we can’t wake up. (Remember the movie “Vanilla Sky”?)

Me: So let’s see… What happens when I really, totally, live in the here and now?

SP: Think.

Me: I guess that’s the same with loving myself totally. Because there is no point of comparison. I’m not sure if the word “love” is appropriate here, but this solid, focused, and warm feeling is like love.

SP: Good.

Me: This super simple feel is somehow familiar … I guess we felt this when we were babies.

SP: Yes.

Me: So living in the NOW is about waking up?

SP: It’s the gateway. You don’t wake up while you are participating in the make-believe game.

Me: But … is it really that simple? We just focus on the here and now and we realize we are already whole? And we wake up?

SP: It’s simple, yes, but may not be easy for many. Can you simply accept whatever happens to you?

The altered state of consciousness

Then my spirit guides reminded me of the experience I had two years ago. It’s something I’ve thought of writing on this blog — it’s certainly interesting — but just didn’t know how to.

It was August or September of 2008, the year I started taking clients for my Akashic Record Reading. I did a lot of work that day. In fact, I did more than I set out to do that day and it was still rather early in the evening. I remember I was feeling proud of my day.

It was still bright outside, so I decided to go out and take a walk.

I walked out of my office room (I was working on my computer) and went to the bathroom. When I stood up and turned around to flush, I almost fell as I lost balance. It felt as if an invisible hand made a big swing, causing a hard wind.

“Huh? What happened to me?”

It was different from the dizziness I would sometimes feel when I suddenly stand up (I have a low blood pressure). In those instances, I could feel my blood going down the head.

This time, however, it was something around me, not inside me.

I walked several steps to the sofa in my living room. (Tiny apartment, you know.) As I walked, the air around me felt thick, like it turned to a liquid gel. Mmm… maybe taking a walk is not a good idea. Let’s just lie on the sofa for a while. . .

Honestly, I was scared terribly. What had happened to me? Do I need to go to a doctor? But then, how do I explain this?

They’d probably think I was using some drugs. (I have never used drugs, by the way. But I’ve heard people talk what happens with certain drugs, and the sensation I was having seemed similar. But then, I am not sure.)

At that moment, I just wanted this weird condition to end. I was far from just living in the here and now. I was confused and terrified.

It ended after about 30 minutes. Looking back, I don’t really know why I was so scared. I sort of want to experience it again — seems interesting. (Needless to say, naturally, not with drugs. I totally hate the idea that some people use drugs to “induce” funny conditions.)

SP: Remember that? So do you think it would be easy to live in the here and now, no matter what happens?

Me: …

SP: People want to attach meanings and reasons to what they are experiencing. They think it’s a reward or a punishment of sort. They attach stories. The truth is, what is happening is just that. . . we are meant to just experience it.

And I have the feeling this is going to be essential in Ascension.

Okay, this is plenty to “download” for now. I am getting exhausted. (In addition to this “conversation”, there are some “road works” going on. It really feels that way — I think my spirit guides are building new connections, resurfacing the existing roads, etc.)

If you find this writing amusing, please send me some encouragement by leaving your comment. Thank you.

Underneath the Noise: Hearing the Whisper

This is a re-post from Daily OM:

Underneath the Noise
Hearing the Whisper


The whisper that reassures us everything is okay delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth.

You may have noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise generally only hurts your throat and adds to the chaos. Similarly, that still, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.

It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. This The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. , and oOnce we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we ha’ve heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.

We may find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and confidence.

Small inner voice

Today I am reminded to listen to the small voice of truth that is available to us all. If I sit quietly for a few moments, the voice begins to fade in, becoming almost discernible but only when the raucous thoughts of daily life are stilled. Today I will continue to use exercising my body as a way to quiet the mind.

Finding Your Joy - Be Happy Every Single Day

This post is a re-post from Today's DailyOM

Being happy doesn't come naturally to everybody. It is your birthright to be happy, choose happiness everyday.


Our lives are rich with potential sources of happiness, but sometimes we become victims of negative thinking because we believe that focusing on all that has gone wrong will provide us with the motivation we need to face the challenges of survival. When we choose to focus on what makes us happy, however, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift take place. The vantage points from which we view the world are brought into balance, and we can see that being alive truly is a gift to be savored. There is always something we can be happy about; it is simply up to us to identify it.

On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or the birth of a child. On another day, the happiness we experience may be a product of our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a tea or the way the sun shines on a leaf. If we discover that we literally cannot call to mind a single joyful element of existence, we should examine the cause of the blockage standing between us and experiencing happiness. Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it.

Happiness may not always come easily into your life. You have likely been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is one of sadness, anger, guilt, or fear. To make joy a fixture in your existence, you must first accept that it is within your power to choose happiness over unhappiness every single day. Then, each time you discover some new source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will find its way more deeply into your heart. On this day, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.

The importance of work

Today I learned how much I need to practice detachment in my life.

Like most men I know, I tend to hold my job in too high regard, it is too important to me. For most of my adult life I have identified myself by my professional success, or at least my potential for success. My self worth and self image have been tied exclusively to my success in professional or educational endeavors. For some people this may be the status quo, and if it works for you, that's fine. I do not see this as inherently bad or detrimental to a person; instead, it simply has not been working out well for me.

I am now trying a new approach, seeking my self worth from within, acknowledging my own, everybody's for that matter, intrinsic worth. We all have an inherent value regardless of race, nationality, education, social status or economic condition, none either greater or lesser than any other.

As my source of self worth migrates to more sustainable and stable ground, I have found that the relative importance of the areas in my life are shifting to a more balanced state. As my priorities realign, and my career is no longer my defining characteristic, I struggle to find a new relationship with my job. I feel that the appropriate relationship is one of detachment, where I do my level best, but feel no sense of identity with the outcome. This is quite challenging for me since I have poured myself into my work so often hoping to have the positive outcomes be seen as a reflection of my own worthiness.